Advice, Happiness

Comparison: the cruelest attack on oneself.

989a02cc13f76d2346a4b64c4b0de2e4Insecurities can eat you up like a parasite, until you’re nothing but an anxious shell of what you once were. Trust me, I’ve been there, along with a huge number of young women I personally know.

Living in the best city in the world has it’s downfalls: there’s an unworldly beauty starring down at you from every billboard and up at you at every magazine stand. Throw in being a model: those unreal women become very real indeed when they’re sitting beside you at a casting or appearing on your Instagram newsfeed. (Or, if you’re me, going clothes shopping only to realise the girl modelling them is your ex’s new girlfriend. This wasn’t even an isolated incident…)

Being confident in yourself in one thing. But once you start comparing yourself to others, it’s difficult to stop, as there will always be someone to compare yourself too. The world is getting smaller. Years ago, the only people we could compare ourselves to were class mates, family members and perhaps the untouchable girls on the magazine covers (who, of course, aren’t real people) But then the internet (and within it, social media) came along and presented to us the prettiest girls in every high school, in every area of every city, and opened up the flood gates in what is now an infinite ocean of faces, bodies, features and accomplishments to compare our own to.

But why do we care so much about being pretty? What is it with pretty? How about being pretty kind? Pretty smart? Pretty honest? Pretty funny? Pretty independent? 

I happen to know a young lady who is absolutely stunning. She turns one hundred heads per street, has thousands of Instagram followers and just so happens to be a successful international super model. Yet, the same woman has confided in me that she feels “too ugly” to model, as the fashion industry (the perfectionism, rejection, emphasis on physical appearance) has over time absolutely destroyed her confidence. She has been forced to compare herself to others for years. There is no one that looks quite like her, so it’s not hard to see how she is forced to compare herself to girls with a completely different look. But that’s the whole point. She doesn’t look like anyone you’ve ever seen before. Therefore, she’s shockingly gorgeous. There is only one version of her in the whole world. She is completely unique, like a rare precious stone. But to her… it’s a different story.

This both saddens me and gives me hope. Because, if this beautiful creature can look amazing while feeling rubbish, there’s hope for us all. But self perception is the most important thing of all. All that matters, if how you see yourself. Women are like flowers: there are many colours, shapes, sizes, smells, each intriguing in their own way.

All flowers are beautiful. You may prefer a rose to a sunflower, but somewhere not so far away there will be someone who prefers sunflowers. And that’s looks alone.

There are a thousand ways how someone can be beautiful: Warmth, charisma, good health, kindness. The way someone speaks, the way someone moves, what people say. These things are true beauty.

Adams Family Actress Anjelica Huston once told super model Erin O’Connor, “You’ll never be pretty but you’ll always be magnificent”. Later, when asked about Huston’s comment, O’Connor said, “That was something someone said to her once and she passed it on to me. It wasn’t some big statement, it was just kind of, ‘Here’s a theory for you, honey, and it will get you through your life.'” But how did it feel to be someone who makes their living from their looks being told they weren’t pretty? “Well, it happened to her, so it was her experience,” she insists.

You will never be someone else. You can get all the surgery in the world, but you will still be you, at the core. You don’t have to be pretty like her, or like them. You can be pretty like you. And that’s the easiest, most freeing thing in the world.

You attract the energy you give off, so spread beautiful energies that people will want to surround themselves with, and that you will be content living within. Feeling confident and sure of ourselves makes us feel amazing about our choices and drives us to live and think in a more positive way. Period. In tern, those of us who are confident without a doubt appear more attractive than those that are insecure.  They radiate strength, passion, and in term, beauty. 

“Confidence is not “they’ll think I’m pretty.” Confidence is “I love my inner self too much to care.”

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Happiness, Health, Interview

TUESDAY TALKS: Megan Elizabeth Galt

MEET MEGAN: I had a mega girl crush on Megan before I’d even met her…

I knew-then-briefly dated her brother, who at the time I thought was the most beautiful looking person on the planet. That was, until I saw his sister. God Bless their parents.

Megan is an unworldly beauty. A ballsy South African turned Londoner, she is definietly not the girl next door and definitely not some girl you could see in your local high street without a second glance. The fact that she’s regularly compared to Angelina Jolie says it all, doesn’t it?

But where Angelina seem’s to conjure an air of bitchiness, house-wrecking and man-loving-woman-hating (See Chelsea Handler calling her a demon here), Megan, although a “tomboy”, is a girls girl at heart, with a caring big sister vibe.  She has it, and I feel like a lot of the it is the confidence. She is a fierce force of nature; a 5’10 strong woman who will not take shit from anybody. And she’s liked all the more for it.

NOT JUST A PRETTY FACE: After competing in a semi final, Megan is in the finals of reality TV show Model Turned Superstar, in which the winning lady wins a movie contract and $1MILLION DOLLARS.

Check out the final episode preview starring Megan here and vote for her on the website!

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What is beautiful to you?

Confidence is beautiful to me. With that, you can be anything. As well as being friendly and grounded, being a fighter and never changing who you are because society wants you to.

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What’s your top beauty secret?

Coconut oil for everything; eating, hair, moisturiser.

I also take Epsom salt baths, which detoxifies you, and are also brilliant as an exfoliate; you can mix it with a lip balm and use it to exfoliate your lips. As well as use it to exfoliate in the shower. There is about 30 diff ways to use it.

When I get bad skin, I use Colloidal silver, which is a spray that clears up the skin in a few days.

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What do you love most about yourself?

I love my confidence and my ambition. Im pretty stubborn – I won’t change for anyone. When I was on the show (Model Turned Superstar), they wanted me to act more like a lady, but I only act a certain way when I feel like acting that way. I tend to do what I want, when I want. I am very honest. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. People tend to respect me more for not being a bullshitter.

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